Fun Old Fashion Family Photo Album or FOFFPA

It's me (my dad) with girl hair. What a handsome fella.

So here's how it started. Ma and Pa Martin on their wedding day. My mom had already had a child, so note the red dress. She knew she wasn't getting away with anything.



Well if it isn't little baby Chelsey in the Neglect-your-kids-inator, complete with the wheels of death! You will notice that I'm in a lovely pink dress. It was absolutely necessary on a count of I looked like a boy.



Circa 1987. Fashion was at an all time high. I'm going to narrate this picture.
"Say whaaaaaaaat?"

And heres the Fam Jam. Again, fantastic fashion. I'm going to style my hair like my mom did and rock my dad's glasses. What do you think? Gold, I knew it. I'm about 3, and still no luck deciphering whether I'm a girl or a boy.

 

See sisters being mean to me. Bunny ears-ing me behind my back. They used to play this really fun game (when I was sitting in the middle of the backseat in the car, where I belonged.) where they'd say, "Chelsey, look at Holly!" and Jess would do a face behind my back. And then Holly would say "Chelsey, look at Jess!" And again... Do a face behind my back. No seriously, it was pretty much like the funnest. Good times had by all.

That fucking Oshkosh jumper piece of garbage. But, check out the sweet kicks. I wasn't lying when I said I was hood.



Me in a nut shell. I like turtlenecks and combing my hair with a fork.

This is the kitchen that was redecorated approximately 487 times. Give or take a few hundred. 7 years old at this point... And we're still not sure if I'm a he or a she. Who thinks I should get a mushroom cut? Cause I make bad hair cuts look good.

Well, friends, I hope you have enjoyed this time warp.

Until next time,

C Sparks

Post Script: I will have everyone know, that when I was looking through pictures deciding which ones I wanted to show off to the world, every single baby picture of me had my sister's name on it. I need an ocean for that burn.