This is my friend Dave. His favourite colour is sienna.

He's baaaaack

And ready to chomp on your soul. I'm sure most of you remember little Dave People Eater, but for those of you who don't, take a hop, skip and a jump over to http://whatthechell.blogspot.com/2010/11/these-are-daves-i-know-i-know-these-are.html and get better acquainted with the many Daves that I know. Despite the terrifying face and tiny evil idle hands, Dave "Plus I'm hungry for flesh" Pointy Eyebrows, turned out to be not such a bad kid after all.

A while back, I decided it would be fun to interview friends of mine. But then being extremely lazy got in the way, and I put it off for about three months. Like I do. Hey, it's better late than never, isn't it? Get off my case.

Please friends, welcome Dave with open arms.

Dave People Eater

I'm using a sock I just found (a clean sock) to wipe my nose. How do you feel about that?

I find my disgust level is lower than expected. It's there. But it hovers around a 6. I was expecting high 7's, low 8's.

If you could be Indiana Jones, what would be your first order of business?

Get the best Monkey Helper money could buy. Like a Monkey Butler, but with more personal freedom for him. Like he can go out and pick up dames if he wants, but during the day he needs to do my bidding. Step 2: Take out the Nazis.

Very admirable, Dave.

How attractive do you find Harrison Ford?

Han Solo Harrison Ford...9
NOW Harrison Ford....2

What's your favourite flavour of jam?

I know this isn't the question, but marmalade is fucking disgusting and whoever invented it should be put down like a dog with rabies.
Strawlsberry.

Is that a typo, or is that just your favourite kind?

Zero percent typo.

Team Edward or Team Jacob?

Twilight is so gay.

That's all you have to say?

Team Edward, because he's super white like me, and that other guy looks like an Indian.

If you could have a 5 person famous people dinner party, alive or dead, who would be invited?

2Pac...obviously. Albert Einstein, Sigmund Freud, Bill Clinton and Dana White.
Disregard females, acquire currency.

Who did you vote for on the last season of Canadian Idol?

I have no connection with Canadian [Idol] beyond that my sister went when Lionel Ritchie was there and made signs. I have never voted in Canadian Idol. I feel shame.

Would you rather be cheese grated to death, or have your head run over by a roller skate until you die?

That's tough. But fair. Is someone wearing the roller skate or it's just like the roller skate itself? Cheese grating sounds way to horrific for me to be able to do, either way I'm going with the roller skate.

Marry one - Boff one - Kill one - Kate Goslin, Chelsea Clinton, Kathy Bates

Tough. Chelsea Clinton is way less gross then she was as a teenager and she's an earner so I'm gonna marry her. Kate Goslin is a fucking toolbag, but I could hate fuck her something fierce, Kathy Bates was disgusting in her prime and her prime was 30 years ago, so I'm sorry Delores Claiborne but you're getting killed.

One word to describe yourself

Awesome.

One word to describe me

Jaunty.

What would you do if you were at the bar macking on some chick, you go to the bathroom and when you come back, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is humping her against the wall?

Try for the Devils 3 Way (2 Dudes \|/ ) For sure. Imagine the story. We'd Eiffel Tower.
___________________________________________________

For all of those who aren't in the know, \|/ are devil horns. I myself was at one point, not in the know. And thus concludes my interview with the wonderful Dave People Eater. I would like to send you off with a few of my personal favourite DPE moments.

"What is IRL?"
"In Real Life. We just went through this. You said you were going to work on your internetting. You clearly didn't."

"My mom just brought me groceries because she heard I was sick. This included juice boxes, beef broth, blueberries and C Plus pop because it's got 25% fruit juice. The combination of sweetness and ignorance washes over me like a wave."

Encouraging me to get my blog out there...

"You have to be out there, adding links to every website.
Going on forums, and adding links.
reddit.com
fark.com
digg.com
And you need to do this every single day.
Enter writing contests.
Take nudes.
Send them to me.
Links.
All over the world.
Find other blogs.
Don't read them.
Place a link."